Show It, Don't Tell It.

That's one of the 'rules' of fiction writing you come across on a fairly regular basis. It makes alot of sense. And it's why Brian Herbert and Kevin Anderson can't seem to write a decent book. I'm perfectly willing to dump the blame on Kevin Anderson. He's responsible for some of the worst cliche-ridden, brain-dead, plot-lacking sci-fi books ever to hit shelves. He's also responsible for Andromeda (staring the guy who was in Hercules). Brian Herbert may have some of the blame, but it's not as much fun to kick him in the metaphorical shins.

Sandworms of Dunesucks.

There. I said it. Oh, you're not surprised. Neither am I. Dune, for all of it's majesty, got weird after Children of Dune. But at least God Emperor, Heretics, and Chapterhouse pushed series into new realms - after all, few works of fiction try to span thousands of years of human history over the course of six novels. Characters live like heroes, and died heroic (or ignoble) deaths, and slowly became lost to the course of history, remembered only as saints, gods or tyrants.

Plots Within Plots

That's one of the first lessons a reader learns about the Dune books. Nothing is simple or straightforward - even the most honest character has something hidden deep within them - a hope, dream, or scheme for future reward, or maybe just living through the day. Never in any of the latter-day Dunes do Anderson or Herbert acknowledge this. People are open books, with no reservations, and no layers. No complexity. They act only to move the plot along.

I could live with this, except the plot is just the barest outline of details. A scene here, a chapter there - all of which feel like they could be something great, if only the would stop writing idiotic expository dialogue and actually tell a story. This is where the 'Show It, Don't Tell It' rule comes in. Instead of showing us the Face Dancer subversion of the Bene Gesserits, Ixian Shipmasters, and Spacing Guild, we're simply told that they have. When this is 'uncovered and resolved,' we're not SHOWN how the Face Dancers avoid total exposure. We're just told as an aside in a later chapter. There is no suspense (possessing knowledge the main characters don't) - simply a feeling of a cheap carnival magician trying to draw your attention to his right hand, while palming a coin in his left.

Villians Must Be Villians

At the end of Hunters of Dune I accepted the return of the Machines as the nameless Enemy. The problem I have with the Machines is that they are not good villians as they are written. If you've had the misfortune to read the Machine War trilogy (The Machine War, The Battle of Corrin, The Butlerian Jihad), you may notice that the machines are not actually frightening. Omnius, the 'leader' of the robots is potentially scary. After all, he's essentially an omnipotent machine, controlling millions of linked robots. However, he is balanced by Erasmus, a robot who, like Pinnochio, really just wants to be a human being. The pair bicker like an old married couple and the joke is completed in Hunters and Sandworms when they take on the forms of a (wait for it) OLD MARRIED COUPLE as a visual metaphor.

In the end, Omnius becomes just another stand in for any totalitarian dictator, and while he commands powers that are an obvious threat, he is never actually terrifying, and Erasmus is comic relief - the evil mad scientists who twirls his moustache while he wonders what will happen if he drops a baby from a tower (no, I'm not joking - he's both a crappy villian and a crappy genius robot). I cannot help but think that they would be better served as clones of HAL - mostly silent, and always efficient, logical, and deadly.

The Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Ending. You know, where they bring back all of the characters.

Yes, everyone comes back. When you've run out of plot devices, you start bringing back characters you thought were dead (for thousands of years), thanks to a running strand of deus ex machina that would make your average pulp writer jealous. You can blame this one on Frank Herbert. He used Duncan Idaho as a familiar anchor for readers so we could have a constant frame of reference over 6,000 years of story. But Brian Herbert and Kevin Anderson abuse this.

From a thematic perspective, it doesn't even make sense. After reading God Emperor, Heretics, Chapterhouse and Hunters, Leto II's 'Golden Path' is plainly obvious - by removing the Spice from play and forcing humanity to chafe under tight restraints, he knew humanity would rush outward upon his death and mankind to break its reliance upon the Spice. There would never be another need for a Kwistaz Haderach - a human super being, a living god. Mankind could save itself.

Instead, Anderson and Herbert throw this away. Mankind is once again, weak, foolish, short-sighted, and needs its superhuman security blanket.

The part that hurts the worst? Hunters of Dune was actually pretty good, and got my hopes up. I'll finish Sandworms, because I'm 2/3 of the way through it and I do want to see how the story ends. But not because I'm enjoying the ride.

Edit:

Paul died once already in Children of Dune - none of this I-can-suck-the-blood-back-into-my-body B.S. Be a man and kill off the character. If he's really not 'the one,' don't give him special powers. Actually, don't give anyone special powers at all. You suck, Brian Herbert. You suck, Kevin Anderson.